When I was thirteen years old, my Dad taught me how to hypnotize a chicken. We had just finished a 4-H meeting at our house. As we chatted in the yard, I noticed a couple of my Mom’s laying hens nearby. My Dad casually grabbed one hen by the legs and remarked to me, “Did I ever teach you how to hypnotize a chicken?” I replied that I’d never heard of such a thing. My Dad then proceeded to show me how to hypnotize a chicken. It was an amazing thing to see. Here’s how it is done.
First, obtain a small stick or twig. Then, if you have access to poultry, gently, and without too much excitement, snag a chicken. Hens are preferable.
Once said chicken is cap- tured, hold her gently and find a clear space of open dirt.
Gently place the chicken on the ground, feet behind her with neck stretched flat (as if you are getting her ready for the axe at butchering time). With your chicken in place, take the stick and draw a line in the dirt beginning at the tip of her beak and extending straight out approx. six inches. Re-trace this line four or five times, while continuing to hold the chicken in place. After drawing your last line, carefully and calmly remove your hands from the chicken.
If all has been done correctly, said chicken will lie still in that position, appearing to watch the line, for several minutes. When my Dad did this, I thought it was about the coolest thing I’d ever seen (I grew up in the country, so we didn’t have much in the way of entertainment).
Fast forward to today… I have this rowdy friend named Colby. Evidently Colby once heard me mention something about hypnotizing chickens, and made a mental note for future reference.
Sometime later we had a social gathering at our church. As part of the festivities, there was a talent show. Talent was in short supply that night, which contributed to the following spectacle.
Colby had noticed that there were three black hens in a small cage just outside the front door of the church. A quick enquiry revealed that said hens were a gift for our pastor.
Pastor Perry had been on a chicken raising binge of late, much to the chagrin of his cheerful wife (she was heard wailing “but we’re not farmers” as she admired their new charges that evening).
Anyway, Colby, with chickens at the ready, confronted me with the following challenge – “prove to us that you can hypnotize a chicken.” I was taken aback at first.
I had no intention of displaying my husbandry skills in front of the entire church that evening. But Colby uttered those dreaded words - “I double-dog dare you.” With that, I was committed.
We had one major problem, however. These chickens were not inclined to succumb to my charms on carpet, or I should say old, used, blue church carpet that was installed in 1968.
So we went in search of something more appropriate. We soon found the right article, a plastic storage lid that we filled with dirt from the church playground.
Since our “stunt” (as many later referred to this incident in our church history) required some degree of calm and silence, we were assigned to go first in the order of entertain ment, before the crowd became rambunctious.
Colby took over the job of MC as I slowly dragged our pastor’s poultry cage to the front of the sanctuary. We placed our dirt filled plastic lid on stage, and I calmly removed one hen from her cage. Colby gave the crowd one last warning to be quiet, and I was up.
To make a long story short, the chicken cooperated satisfactorily. She was “hypnotized” for almost a full minute. The crowed sat in awe, mouths agape, soundly impressed. Too soon, a child squealed in excitement, and our bird was jolted awake.
A quick grab insured that she would not run wild in the church (I was afraid of folks having to clean their shoes after Sunday service the next day). We returned our hen to her cage, and the talent show continued.
I have relayed this story a time or two to some of my strait-laced friends, and they never seem to quite believe me. Their puckered lips seem ready to scream – “what is wrong with you people - hypnotizing chickens in church!”
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