September is Suicide Awareness Month. Suicide is frightening, whether you are thinking about it for yourself, or know someone who is. Suicide is final, the end. A life is lost – the hopes and dreams, the talents and gifts, the plans and expectations -- all gone! And this life had meaning; the person mattered. But somehow, someway this person couldn’t see this, couldn’t see continuing into the future.
And it is devastating! Bewildering! Devastating -- a hole in their lives that will never be filled. Bewildering family and friends are left with questions that will never be answered; a lack of closure, of never really understanding.
Then there are those in the community who knew the person, maybe not well, but still a human, a community member.
And everyone is left wondering, perplexed and ‘rattled’.
The others who really have a tough time with suicide in the community are those who are thinking about it themselves.
Maybe they haven't made a fi nal decision, but they envy the person who has died, the relief gained through the suicide. And it encourages them!
There are those individuals that have ongoing health and/or aging problems and they realize they are not going to get better.
They may not be terminal, but the increasing limitations, treatments, surgeries, etc. are more than they want to deal with and so for them it is a rational decision to end their life before it gets any worse. They are not clinically depressed; they just don’t want to deal with their life anymore and a recent suicide gives them permission to do it.
Every day in the U.S., approxi- mately 135 people die by suicide - a total of 49,449 lives - making it the 10th leading cause of death (all ages).
The numbers are staggering!
And look at our young people, 10 – 34 years of age. Only unintentional injuries/accidents rates higher than deaths by suicide for this age range.
TEXAS SUICIDE RATES Throughout the State of Texas, suicide is the:
•2nd leading cause of death ages 10-34.
•4th leading cause of death ages 35-44 5th leading cause of death ages 45-54.
•9th leading cause of death ages 55-64.
•17th leading cause of death ages 65+.
Teenagers and Young Adults have the highest rates of suicide compared to other ages, a very disturbing reality in our world today. Just look back at your own life as a teen/young adult and think about all the questions and doubts you had, all the stress of school, friendships, jobs, future, parents, society, etc. And now with social media making everything way too available, well, the world is a lot scarier and young people have more stressors than ever.
What is important to recognize is that developmentally, teen’s and young adults’ judgment and decision-making abilities are still not fully developed.
The prefrontal cortex — the brain’s executive control center — doesn’t fully develop until a person is in their mid-to-late ‘20s.
That makes young people more impulsive. They don’t weigh risks and consequences nor weigh ethics and values in the same way that older folks will. They don’t and they can’t neurologically speaking -- it is impossible.
Socially, teens and young adults don’t have the same connections/ support systems older adults do. Someone who is married, has a long-term partner or has children or grandchildren is in a different place socially than someone who is just coming into their own, living with parents, roommates or alone for the first time.
And this is shocking! Nearly 20% of high school students report serious thoughts of suicide and 9% have made an attempt to take their lives (not always successful, at least on the first attempt).
The reality about children and suicide is dire.
When we look at the children our babies -- in the United States, the rates of suicide attempts and deaths among children have increased over the past decade.
Alarmingly, suicide is now the 8th leading cause of death in our precious children age 511. Un imaginable! Our children are under more pressure and stress than ever. Clinically speaking, more children have full-blown anxiety disorders and/or depression than ever before.
Thank social media for some of this extra pressure. And parents, you aren’t off the hook. Too often today parents are either too busy and too lenient to be good parents; or they jump in and constantly rescue kids, blaming others, while at the same time not holding their children accountable for their actions nor requiring them to be responsible and accountable for their own behavior at home and at school. It’s called over-indulging!
What is really difficult to un derstand are people who die by suicide yet never appear outwardly depressed or suicidal. In fact, not all suicides are attributable to depression and anxiety which are indeed risk factors. But only about half of people who took their own lives had depression.
Individuals who are overly self-reliant and consider this attribute as their greatest strength will do everything they can to take care of themselves. Because they feel that they must rely on this inner core of strength, they can have real difficulty asking for help. They have a private and exaggerated sense of pride about their independence and will do everything they can to protect this. Many of these individuals have a hidden, vulnerable self-esteem, which can be concealed behind their presentation of strength and being in control.
Their private feelings of vulnerability require ongoing protection and promotion, leaving them at a higher risk for suicide. They are emotionally fragile, but they sure don’t look like it.
Yet everyone has a breaking point! The reality is that society and parents must pay more attention to children who are struggling; these children have many anxieties and overwhelming negative feelings.
In the meantime, there is a national, 24-hour free Crisis Lifeline, 988, that anyone can call or text if they need to talk/connect with a crisis counselor. If you are feeling depressed, anxious, desperate, and/or thinking of suicide, reach out to them now.
They need help! They must have help from the adults
